I liked you first but
She said it first and
The rules of friendship demanded
I keep quiet.
I’m not even sure how much
I really did, or you really did like me.
You joked we should get married
And I jokingly agreed,
Over 3am tea, and your cigarette smoke – see?
You smoke, I don’t,
We live in different cities;
How would it even work?
A week later, I can’t even remember
Your face. Just the colour
Of your hoodie, a vague memory
Of your smile. Just
A flirtation. Just
A moment. No big deal. But still
I wanted to decide that for myself,
And she said it first.